I've always been a big fan of Tiki stuff. Dan is going off to the Caribbean and is about to send me taunting photos of living it up on the beach while it snows here (even in Oregon). Here in Portland I was disappointed when Trader Vic's closed right after I arrived. But as I will show below, they would have scored low on the "Tiki Index".
So what are the essential Tiki components? Here's a suggested list...
1. Serve tiki drinks
2. Bamboo and a thatched roof
3. Open air construction
4. On / right near a beach
5. On a pier or floating ABOVE the water
Here is the cheapest form of tiki from an old catalog. If you put this inside your house, you score two points (drinks plus bamboo and a thatched roof). You could get an extra half point if you put it in your backyard for open air construction I guess.
You can spend a lot more money and still not move up the index. This is about 10x as much and only a bit better.
This is an old place in Chicago (long since closed) that shows tiki on the street. Damn it is too dark for Tiki. In Chicago they opened a cool Tiki bar IN A BASEMENT. You would lose a point for that!! Tiki needs sunshine!
I'm sure Dan on the other hand can find 5 star Tiki bars on his vacation where he can validated my calculation and perhaps add some new equation elements (like whether they have the steel drums, the types of servers, etc...). I'm jealous.