Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Wait, Don't Tell Me...

When buying a firearm the less editorial information you surrender to the seller the better off we all will be. Recently even more pressure is being placed on retail firearms dealers in the wake of sensationalized media reports of the so-called politically charged preventable gun violence theme.


The government insists on retailers performing background checks and relies on retail employees to become enlightened judgmental surrogates. I am more than willing to cooperate not even having a degree in psychology.

If you want my opinion of the two products you have narrowed your choice down to then you got it. Hopefully you have done your homework first. The internets have an abundance of product reviews you can read or videos you can watch. Small talk is ok but limit it to comparisons and which product best suits your needs.

Make a choice. Fill out ATF background check form 4473. That's all you need to do and we'll go from there.


Certainly I have denied transfers to those smelling of alcohol, appearing to be chemically impaired and making obvious straw purchases. Always will. My employers absolve me when denying a transfer if it is against my judgement. Nobody wants to be accused of a questionable transfer.

In no way do I want to transfer to anyone undeserving of the right purchase a firearm under the law. I am fully committed to keeping weapons from criminals, urban thugs and the like. When making a purchase just give me and any other retail dealer the facts. I'm not Dr. Phil.

I am aware there are government and media do-gooder groups willing to secretly videotape a transfer or run a sting operation and I am fine with that. It keeps us all honest and legal.

The federal 4473 form asks you the vital questions, I do not. Don't ask me to interpret the questions if you cannot read or do not understand simple English. Interaction is forbidden when you fill out the form.

Having been to ATF seminars and trained to recognize body language and unsolicited verbal comments, it's my responsibility to reject any transfer when verbal intent or body language may be questionable.

It is ultimately the government's responsibility to have the data on on hand for those who should be denied a firearm transfer. Your unsolicited comments and actions are enough for me to reject you, even if you are capable and qualified before submitting your request. I have rejected and I will again so sit still and shut your big yapper.

It is a thin line we walk when transferring possession. You may be in a hurry to get to your next business meeting or late to work or pick up the kids from LaCrosse practice and if so come back another time. Being nervous, fidgety or in a hurry when the lengthy background check takes place raises a big fat red flag. This is a guaranteed rejection by me. And please, SHUT OFF THE DAMN MOBILE DEVICE when a background check takes place. I may reject you simply because you are a rude asshole. And my employer will not discipline me because of it.

I don't want to hear your personal life story before your background check is processed by the federal government. The more you spew out loud the more doubt you cause me to have.

Don't tell me you had owned many sporting, competition and collectable firearms but had a Come-To-Jebus moment twenty years ago and lost the desire to hunt or kill things but suddenly have the need for a firearm. Just STFU.

If the one shotgun you keep for protection is a mid-century replica of an old western vintage side-by-side coach gun that sits loaded in your bedroom and you don't trust it will perform because in twenty years you fired only two shots with it, keep it to yourself. Take a blue pill.

If for any reason someone illegally enters your home and threatens you or your wife in any way and you are willing to "pump" the full eight rounds into his worthless a**, please keep it to yourself. These are very strong words I and those nearby would rather not hear prior to or during a background check. Words like that are better left unspoken in public. It's not only boring it's nunnamydambidness.

Because your ex is being released from prison soon is a good reason for self protection leave me out of it. Just pass the background check lady, the rest is up to you. Idontwannanoaboudit.

It's not often a customer offers up information that is so forthcoming and blunt with details but it happens. Just when I believe I've heard it all another comes up. Federal law enforcement considers retailers to be the front line of defense in sales to those who should not be in possession of firearms. It's a lot of pressure. They have my full cooperation.

Don't make my job more difficult. Come in, choose a firearm, fill out the form, STFU and let the government make the call. Make it easier on me and yourself as well. I don't want to hear your tale of woe or why you prefer a high magazine capacity or how you already have enough firepower to hold off a zombie horde. 

If you want personal self-protection fine, you want to hunt game fine, you want to put holes in paper at 300 yds for the fun of it, fine. If you want to collect firearms as an investment we'll take your cash. I don't want to know and I don't care.

Just know this. We are all protected by The Second Amendment of The Bill Of Rights written into The United States Constitution. Keep your personal business between you and your government.

Just sayin'.

1 comment:

Dan from Madison said...

Outstanding rant. I was buying a revolver once and the guy in front of me was holding me up because he was flapping his yapper while filling out the form and finally the clerk told him to "get the f*ck out we don't want your money". I guess he could have said it nicer, but like you said, this guy was nervous and the more he said, the more it was clear that he shouldn't have been buying the gun.