Monday, June 16, 2014

Can You Can Take Me Now Lord, Please?

In order to separate myself even further from modern social decay I made the conscious decision to avoid all things dealing with social media very early. Guess that choice makes me an early adapter.

I remember when this symbol - # meant pound. Why or where that symbol came to mean the word hashtag isn't worth wasting my time to look up. Ever hear a recorded message asking to press the hashtag key? WFM. I have never been so proud to be a happy, clueless little Luddite simpleton here in the hinterlands than now. There are soooo many current trends to avoid and soooo little time.

Way too many are obsessed with food and drink these days especially in the urban zones. With a saturated market restaurants and breweries are looking for clever ways to differentiate themselves in order to not only increase their market share but at least maintain the ones they currently have. Let's use the common hot dog and beer as an example. From the article:

"Superdawg, the old-fashioned Northwest (Chicago) Side drive-in known for its boxes stuffed with fat franks and fries, has expanded into a new domain: beer. The restaurant has teamed with Irving Park’s Lake Effect Brewing Company to make Super Bier, a German-style brew designed to pair with hot dogs."
Note the use of the word "pair". Pairing is a slick trick trendy joints use to increase the sale of high margin wine, meaning to order a prepared dish and pair it with the proper wine so you won't embarrass yourself into ordering a more pedestrian beverage in front of onlooking snooty diners. Yawn. We have entered an era where a sucker is now born every nano-second. People actually waste thought waves on this nonsense. Example : Waiter says," Our special tonight is Balsamic Glazed Crispy Oven Pork Gonads with Fire Roasted Roasted Onion Pepper Puke and Goat Cheese and Quinoa Stuffed Figs topped with a Mango Chutney Slime".  Yuppie Jamoke says, "Why yes, that sounds outstanding. We both will order that please". Waiter then says, "Our sommesmellier claims it pairs best with LaFeet Chenin Armpit Noir vintage '09. Yuppies chortle together, "Oooooo that sounds FAAABulous!"
Back to the real nonsense.
"The idea was born after the restaurant’s Wheeling location held a tasting event with Lynfred Winery last July, according to Superdawg’s social media manager, Ben Ustick. “A lot of customers were saying, ‘This would be so awesome with beer,’” Ustick said.
Holy Crapp!!! A hot dog would be "so awesome" with beer? Wait until THAT news hits the low-information social media horde. Sweet Baby Jesus!
This gets even better.
"That was music to self-professed beer nerd Ustick’s ears. “In Chicago hot dog history it’s always been small businesses making their way. The Chicago hot dog stand always dominates the chain places,” he said. “The craft beer market’s the same way, so I really saw an opportunity where we could open up a whole new audience.” So he reached out over Twitter to Lake Effect’s founder and head brewer, Clint Bautz.
And I thought pure logic such as that could only pour from the lips of Mr. Spock as he enlightened the clueless Dr. McCoy. Reached out? Over twitter? Maybe a phone call is so yesterday and making a personal visit adds too many dangerous greenhouse gasses. Someone should "reach out" and slap this hip Urban Weenie. But wait there's more...
"Meat-paired beers have been done before — even hot dog-themed ones. But while other brewers have actually brewed beers with hot dog ingredients, Bautz decided to go a more traditional path. “In this case, we decided to go the German-style route, where beers pair really well with the sausages and the bratwurst and those types of meals,” Bautz said. “So we gravitated towards the lager profile, which is clean and refreshing.” The result is a Kolsch-style beer, crisp and slightly sweet with a little bit of smoke and a hint of spice on the back end. That spice is a result of the beer’s “secret ingredient,” Bautz said. At 5.2 percent alcohol by volume, it’s also not as strong as many other craft beers."
That secret smoke spice ingredient is probably the result of a brewery worker accidentally allowing the cigarette butt to fall from his mouth and into the wort at just the right moment. Ferchrissakes, it's just a beer so get over yourself!!!
“I think it’s a very quenchable beer, a very sessionable beer, it goes with the hot dog.” Bautz said. “You can drink a few of them and still carry on a conversation.”
Guess that leaves this beer off the list of tailgate beverages in the Soldier Field parking lot this fall.
"It’s not exclusively for hot dogs either, Bautz added. “It will work for other things, it can go with meat, it can go with pickles, it can go by itself,” Bautz said.

Well gag me with a pickle chip. Hey pal, I got me a sausage you can pair that beer with…right here.

1 comment:

Terry from Crown Point said...

I usually like to pair a Hot Dog with another Hot Dog. That's just me, and maybe the guy who came up with "foot longs".