Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Not My Man Manny

As a lifetime White Sox fan I rarely criticize moves the team makes. Some I agree with, some I don’t. There are times when I know I am right and others where they prove me wrong. Rarely do they piss me off but this latest move turns my stomach.

Excuse my knee-jerk rant.

If there’s one player in pro sports that has caused me to wretch just to look at him it’s Manny Ramierz. And now he’s on the White Sox. WTF?

It has nothing to do with his performance record or his attitude, which is rather tame compared to other ghetto style pro-sports thugs. It’s all about his looks.

He looks dirty, as if he seldom bathes or showers. His helmet is so filthy with a buildup of pine tar residue the team emblem is barely recognizable. His uniform is usually askew with some shirt sticking outside his pants when he steps up to the plate. And that hair looks as if you can smell it ten feet away like that stew-bum taking up resident space at Hubbard and State or sitting on the Dearborn St. bridge. This guy is a slobbish boor.

When he is on injured reserve (which will happen sooner than later) he should be positioned in the concourse in plain clothes shaking a Starbucks cup with a few coins in it. Who would know the difference? It is Chicago after all. Plenty of suckers will drop a dime in to help out this homeless-looking millionaire. He can donate the proceeds to Sox Charities in honor of Alex Nellius and his loving wife, Ursula for all I care.

Some may call it absent-minded or simply quirky for a multi-millionaire athlete to appear in a league game looking like a substance abuser with a prison record, I call it being an asshat and ultimately hold the franchise owner responsible for this ill-advised move. Then again, who paid those millions to Dennis Rodman? When A.J. and Joe Crede failed to trim their hair and it got a bit shaggy Jerry ordered it cut. All Reinsdorf will cut on Manny and future ghetto-thugs who perform is a break and a check for millions.

If I am on the team I want my locker on the opposite end of the room from this odiferous sh!tbag. Then again, maybe Ozzie will use this opportunity to punish starting players for poor performance by moving their locker space next to Manny the Moocher.

Soon we will see how bad Manny’s dandruff is when he finally has to wear a black jersey and provides a visible blizzard at home plate in late September.

Note to Head & Shoulders brand managers and the marketing people at Procter & Gamble: here’s a marketing opportunity for you if ever there was one.

Does anyone in the pro-sports world care about team image and pride anymore? Why do we allow certain players to embarrass the team, it’s players and the fans by looking like a filthy ner' do well schmuck in uniform?

When asked, David Ortiz once said Manny is just being Manny. Translated: Manny is a lazy pr!ck juice user that is a lousy fielder, a slow base runner, not a team player who only cares about the money.

At this point I could care less if Manny helps the Sox make the post season or not. In fact, I hope he consistently chokes with men on base and is out of baseball next year for good.

Sure, I’m still a Sox fan. But why allow this clown an exemption for bad hygiene and appearance? This is yet another example of our ongoing societal decay due to lack of equal rule compliance.

At one time I respected Sox ownership for having standards and class. Now I wonder.

I will still watch and support the team. But for the remainder of this season I will do so while holding my nose.

And it will be necessary.

Here's a good hatchet job on Manny.

More to come.


Dan from Madison said...

"Does anyone in the pro-sports world care about team image and pride anymore?" No. Also, Manny = total juicer.

But I don't get too worked up about it anymore. I am of the opinion that every single professional athlete in every sport with the exceptions of maybe gold and bowling are cheating in one way or another - and that goes for kollej as well.

Dan from Madison said...

gold = golf. My fingers are roided up.

Anonymous said...

Well, you have to remember the torn bell bottom jeans and long hair we had back in the early 70's. I wore jeans that had been unwashed for weeks. Don't get me wrong, I can't stand manny myself but I think it's his selfish arrogant attitude that does me the wrong way. If he had the character of someone like a Jim Thome, he could wear pink fuzzy slippers and I wouldn't give a s*it. All in all, I agree, it's a bad move.

Terry from Crown Point said...

Come to think of it, if he had the character of a Jim Thome, he likely wouldn't be wearing pink fuzzy slippers. Unless they were comfortable... like mine. Oh yeah, for some reason I came up as anon on that last one.