Monday, June 28, 2010

At The Ballpark – Having A Whale Of A Time

As guests of Carl and his lovely wife, the bro and I attended the final crosstown game yesterday. As usual I like to observe and report on the unnatural sights and behavior that I encounter at live events. That’s when the amateur anthropologist in me comes out screaming.

After the tailgate we went to our assigned lower level 3rd baseline seats, which were very good. For the first 1 ½ innings the two rows in front of us were empty.

Suddenly, wearing a pink parachute this woman, her female friend and a guy took three of the four seats in front of us.

It was hard not to notice this enormous presence sitting right in front of me. Just how do people get this huge? Some blame it on genetics. I call it food addiction. Soon her boyfriend (of normal build) sat down and she moved farther to my left to sit with him minimizing some distraction. Before that the other guy had to lean forward because her ample side-flesh rolls spilled well over the armrests next to him. What armrests? Look hard. I would say click to enlarge but it's better not to.

We all love food but to what degree is one willing to sacrifice their appearance and health for an addiction to eating? Not to mention personal comfort and that of others near them, considering few things on this earth are built to accommodate a 400+ lb. frame. She made her 200+lb lady friend appear normal by comparison.

We witnessed firsthand how it’s done.

Some nachos honey?

How about some more nachos sweety?

Would you like some cheese and sausage pizza?

This woman was eating constantly, I never saw her wothout food for almost three hours. Someone was bringing her greasy ballpark trash food one sloppy plastic dish after another. Fortunately I had an interest in the game on the field, enough that I did not capture every single high calorie consumable she shoved down her insatiable pie-hole between innings.

There’s more to come from me on the game and tailgating. This subject is one I felt like sharing first. I know Carl has some interesting and unusual observations as well.


Dan from Madison said...

oy vey.

Mark said...

Nom nom nom

Snakeye said...

Wow... in the words of the dude in all the Adam Sandler movies, "That's a HUGE BITCH!"

Terry from Crown Point said...

She needs to go on the naked diet - where one can only eat while sitting in front of a mirror, naked. Alas, her mirrors are, my guess, very small. One can only hope she wakes up before it's too late.

Jonathan said...

I've seen this before. The husband/boyfriend is the designated feeder.

Anonymous said...

I don't give a shit what the rest of these assholes say--you're a fucking piece of garbage for taking creepy pictures and writing an entire blog about someone you don't know. You're a goddamn trashbag asshole. I dunno what the fuck's wrong with YOU and the rest of people who do this type of stuff. What do you get out of it? Really! If your joy comes from saying shitty things about people and taking pics just for hits, you might want to re-evaluate your life. You really didn't have to go this far.