The best part of being a Bears season ticket holder to me is, at times, laughing at insane marketing materials and letters from the team.
I just got my invoices for the season tickets. Two of my seats are the same price as last year. The price of the other two (even higher up and further down the sideline than the first two) was adjusted up to match the price of my first set. So now I pay a cool $69 per ticket per game to watch this team play football (pre season games mandatory as an added kick in the pants). But I paid the invoices and now have to wait to see if I get the coveted parking pass for next year, or if we have to go black market for them. By paying the invoices I have made a decision to give my money to this team who constantly rewards me with not much to root for. Frankly, after sitting in Soldier Field on and off for the last 15 years or so, I find the tailgating and meeting up with my friends more rewarding than the game itself. If the Bears do well, that is just an unexpected bonus. Odd, isn't it?
But since I did buy the tickets, I do have a right to bitch and mock. I think the best way to show my dissatisfaction would be to CANCEL my season tickets, but like I said, the fall days tailgating out there are quite nice.
The Bears enclosed one of their classic letters along with my invoice, and I would like to reprint some of it here, correct the mistakes, and, in general, bag on the team and the organization. It makes me feel good. So lets get it on. The letter is really long, so I will cut out the waste and hit the meat.
The need to bring in new ideas, energy and passion has never been more apparent, and in that regard, the addition of Mike Martz as offensive coordinator and the promotion of Rod Marinelli to defensive coordinator bring a renewed focus on winning from two of the most well respected and intelligent coaches in the NFL.
Really? I missed that stampede of other teams trying to hire Martz and pry Marinelli out of our hands this last off season. Martz was/is Lovie's buddy from the Rams days, and Marinelli is the newest fall guy who was already here, and can now take the heat if our defense sucks instead of Lovie, who was the dc last year.
The 2009 season ended with a glimpse of our big play ability on offense that will only improve with a year of experience and renewed optimism for the upcoming season.
Well, I missed all of those "big plays" in the games I watched. Maybe they are talking about the couple of catches Aroma had. And I literally have no idea what they are talking about with this "year of experience". Are they talking about Cutler? He did play before he got here, you know.
Brian Urlacher's return brings leadership and attitude back to the defense. Coupled with Lance Briggs, the two have combined for 11 Pro Bowl selections and will restore the hard-hitting, turnover-making defense that has been a trademark of Bears football.
Well, the reality of the situation is that both Briggs and Urlacher are old, and getting older. They were very good, and I would still say that Briggs is one of the top linebackers in the league. But they get paid an inordinate sum of money for making an ever dwindling number of big plays.
Bears Football is nothing without you, the 4th Phase, creating the Soldier Field home field advantage that has been so vital to our past successes on the Chicago lakefront.
"Past successes" - are they talking about the two or three playoff appearances in the last couple of decades?
The 2010 regular season home schedule features five 2009 playoff teams and in addition to our traditional NFC North Division rivals (Packers, Vikings and Lions), includes visits from the New York Jets, New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles, Seattle Seahawks and the Washington Redskins.
Uh oh. If we don't get significantly better in this off season, we are toast. All of those teams are good except Seattle and the Redskins.
Last year the Bears were the first team in the city to freeze ticket prices due to the unprecedented economic downturn facing the entire nation. However, in order to remain economically competitive with other teams in the league and field the best team to bring a championship back to Chicago, ticket price increases are necessary for most seats beginning in 2010. The Bears operate in the largest single-team market in the NFL with the smallest stadium capacity and one of the highest local amusement taxes (12% from the city/county combined). This could be justification for the highest ticket price in the NFL. But the Bears believe differently, continually striving to balance the economic realities with sensitivity to fans' budgets.
I seriously wonder how long it took the Bears PR person who wrote this document to come up with that last tortured paragraph. There is a reason why the Bears can't charge the highest prices in the league - because, in general, they suck. If you look at the Bears record over the past two and a half decades, it is really dismal. And what about that smallest stadium wisecrack? They just built a brand spanking new stadium inside the old Soldier Field and did an absolutely terrible job. The architecture of a once historic stadium is destroyed. Instead of listening to me and putting a massive stadium in the burbs with ample parking and access (Hoffman Estates would have been perfect) they consciously decided to drop the ufo inside of old, decrepit Soldier Field. The traffic and parking around there have been, and always will be, insane. The amusement taxes, along with every other thing in the city of Chicago are a racket and that won't change either. So any problems that the Bears have with the stadium or the city are nobody's problem but their own.
The new 2010 prices revalue the entire seating bowl pricing structure to more accurately reflect the most attractive seats. Approximately 25% of all seats, (the vast majority of the west grandstand) remain flat for a second consecutive year. Although flat prices cannot be promised in any seating area in the future, we will remain conscious of not pricing out Season Ticket Holders. Increases are between $2 and $20 per seat, while the overall average ticket price increased less than $7 per seat. The handling fee is also increasing. Every Bears game is a daylong event and each contest is of critical importance, making the cost of a Bears season ticket among the top entertainment values in Chicago.
I particularly like the last sentence in that last paragraph, as it has absolutely nothing to do with their attempt at explaining why they are hiking prices. In the end, they jacked the prices of the crappy seats to match those seats that hold more "value". You can see this here. One pair of my tix is in section 443 and one is in 445. They have simply eliminated the discount for the crappier seats. They did keep the price flat in 443, which was nice.
We will continue to place great emphasis on improving your game day experience, and ask that you continue to share your opinions. Maintaining a safe, family friendly environment at Soldier Field will remain a priority. The texting option to report unruly behavior has been a success and will continue. Other changes to enhance the fan experience on game day this fall will be the start of a two year program to replace and upgrade more than 1,000 televisions at Soldier Field, along with the expected opening of a new retail Pro Shop conveniently located at the south end of Soldier Field inside of Gate O. The proposed addition of four new LED boards will enhance your ability to find game stats, out of town scores, and fantasy football stats.
More b.s. I will never, ever, ever take my kids to a Bear game until they are at least in their late teen years. There is a remote possibility that I may take them to a pre-season game as Carl reports that those are more tame. The fact is that Bear games are a drunken slog of a day and although I am endlessly entertained by the lack of decorum shown by almost all in attendance, I don't need to expose my kids to vomiting, cursing, drunk football fans. Thanks for the new TV's that don't apply to me sitting in the West Upper Deck. Hopefully that pro shop with overpriced Bear crap won't affect the fans entering the stadium around gate O. It is already packed enough when everyone streams through there after pre-partying in the South/McCormick lots.
Well, that is pretty much it for this great letter, another classic. I can't wait for more Bear marketing material to show up and bewilder me yet again. I am just about at the end of my rope with this team and if there is a lock out in 2011, as it looks like there will be, I might be done. After this year, I might be done anyway.
Cross posted at Fire Everybody.
6 comments:
Yesterday on the local CBS morning news it was reported that Paul Tagliabue was seen leaving Mayor Dick Daily's office Tuesday afternoon. Speculation was they met to discuss a second NFL franchise for Chicago. This morning the same news program had a reporter confronting Mayor Dick where he admitted meeting with the ex-comish claiming they were discussing the Chicago Olympic bid (WTF?), but his shit eating grin gave it away. He then spoke out glowingly in favor of having a second NFL team in the city.
If this became a serious proposal you know the McCaskets would fight it with everything they have. But with the city of Chicago in a downward financial crisis spiral it makes sense for Mayor Dick to get something positive done in light of his colossal Olympic failure.
(Cross commented at fire everybody)
If they do it right (i.e. a nice modern stadium with a lot of johns, big assed parking lot and good access/traffic patterns) I would instantly become a fan of that team and direct any and all vitriol towards the McCaskey owned franchise.
I like the fact that your link for "vomiting, cursing, drunk football fans" clicks to the most important site on the internet, DRUNK BEAR FANS!
Always, ALWAYS have to give props to the most important site on the internets.
turtle!
Best Drunk Bear Fan ever.
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