Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Funny Article on Bears' Quarterbacks

Matt Taibbi is a writer for Rolling Stone magazine, who for some reason has decided to pen an occasional article on sports. His recent article was about the historical train wreck that has been the Bears quarterback position, a topic that Dan wrote about long ago.

"The Curse of the Bears" - Why do Chicago's quarterbacks all go bust?

The Chicago Bears quarterbacking job is the most cursed position in sports, the Bermuda Triangle of line slots. The ignominy of the Bears QB legacy stretches to the horizon... They've had guys suck after being good somewhere else (Cutler), had guys suck and then go on to be good somewhere else (Jim Harbaugh, Doug Flutie), had guys suck at the beginning of their careers (Grossman), the middle (Kramer), and the end (Chris Chandler). It's an extraordinary feat, depending on how you feel about Jim McMahon, the last great quarterback to play for the Beras was Sid Luckman, a leather-helmet-era Hall of Famer whose rookie year coincided with Hitler's annexation of Czechoslovakia.

Wow. If only it wasn't so true.

And the Bears paid full retail price for failure, giving up the 11th pick overall for the corpse of Rick Mirer and doling out $20M for much-hyped UCLA brat Cade McNown, whose crowning achievement as a Bear was getting indicted for misusing handicapped-parking placards.

I like the finale.

As NFL black holes go, the Bears QB job doesn't have much competition. Cardinals running back? Yeah, OK, but who cares? The Bears are a national institution, which makes this run of sucky quarterbacks horribly conspicuous, a huge wart on the face of sports that just keeps getting bigger with every crushing Cutler pick.


Dan from Madison said...

I will stand by Cutler until we get rid of our OFFENSIVE COODINATOR who is trying his damndest to get Cutler killed. Our offensive line also sucks, as we all know. I would like to see even Manning give it a try in that backfield, I guarantee he has picks a plenty running for his life.

As for the rest, yes, trainwreck is the only way to describe it.

Gerry from Valpo said...

As I always said, there was nothing wrong with Kyle Orton. He got the best deal of all.

Dan from Madison said...

Meh, Orton never really did it for me. I never saw a throw he made where I said WOW nice toss. Cutler has made some of those this year, even while running for his life every single play.

Gerry from Valpo said...

Now I don't want to go off on a rant here but...

Orton never did it for me when he was with the Bears either but after watching a few early Broncos games he sure did. Hell, he looked like Montana pulling out last second wins and throwing like Marino. Denver went, what, 6-0 without Cutler?

My point is that in the current Bears System led by Lovie the Loser and his bunch of wanks even a Manning (as you pointed out Dan) would need to run for his life.

Orton is in a much better place with a winning system. Cutler can count his elite quarterback class guaranteed money without ever seeing the playoffs or Pro Bowl again. Angelo threw away future top draft choices to win now. Bear down indeed.

I say the McCaskeyites should scrape that ten million dollar Lovie turd off their Gucci loafers, dump Angelo and start rebuilding the day after the Viking game.

That being said they may have post season potential in another three to four years at best.

Dan from Madison said...

Since the Orton led Broncos went 6-0 they are 2-5. Prime position for a wild card if they hold their own. And that is a big if.

Agreed the time is now for the McCaskeys. They not only need to buy out Lovely, but Turner, Angelo and everybody else. I estimate that bill at $40m or so. But McCaskey will have to do it if they want Cowher. The Chin simply won't come here with those ass clowns still working at Halas Hall.

Mark said...

tee hee hee