Wednesday, July 01, 2009

The Blame Game

CUBS RULE! And rule #1 is – never ending futility will fill the seats. Mission accomplished!

Here’s my bi-annual (not a gay slur, I swear) anti-Cub rant so grab your ankles you die hard Cub fans.

The media blame game has begun and it isn’t even the All-Star break. Odd for a Chicago sports media that spoons feeds the masses from a quart of Ben & Jerry’s Triple Cubbie Butterfinger Crunch.

It doesn’t look too good for Chicago Cubs manager, Fat Lou Pinella. As the team slips back into traditional Cubbie mode after two years of complete post season failure he appears to have lost the players respect without even knowing it. Lou’s oblivious to the term “June Swoon” and this year it started in April.

Even the local sports hack “homers” are turning on the Cubs. One suggests the team trade amateur boxer Carlos Zambrano.

Not a bad idea. Big Z is unhappy for a guy hauling ten mil a year from the Tribune basement vault. It just shows you money is everything. He flaunts his lack of respect for Fat Lou with dugout tirades, beating up Gatorade containers and not following orders on the field. I think Zman has figured out that Fat Lou is a tired old slug who can’t control or communicate with his players therefore the Cubs will be going nowhere in October. So why not go through the motions while collecting ChiTrib millions? Go for it Z!!!

Last Sunday Zambrano threw a wild pitch during a sacrifice bunt and followed that up by hitting the batter (second time in one game). He threw an embarrassing 6-0 loss against the White Sox allowing the Sox to win their homestand against the northside underachievers. HOLEECOWWW!

Here’s another local sports hack calling for Fat Lou to be fired.

With the club currently in chaos, having an 0-9 past playoff record and a classic Cubbie June Swoon underway launching Fat Lou would be the right thing to do. On top of that, last Friday he kicked the biggest flop of the year, Milton Bradley, out of the clubhouse after calling him a piece of sh!t. If I were Fat Lou I would have choked that bastid instead of verbally labeling him with the obvious.

Problem is Fat Lou to upper management is what Lovie Smith is to Bears upper management. It would be admitting a huge mistake a bit too early for their liking. Better to flounder. Sell the dream, deliver the turd. It’s the Cubbie way.

So what can we expect from a $135,000,000 payroll (third highest in MLB)? Selling a lot of beer to a fool house.

Here’s another wag blaming Cubs GM Jim Hendry.

Quote from Jim Morrisey,” The Cubs' general manager is responsible for signing the .238-hitting, currently benched Bradley to a three-year, $30 million contract before the season.

He is responsible for signing "leadoff" hitter Alfonso Soriano, who is in the third year of an eight-year, $136 million contract. He's responsible for giving Kosuke Fukudome a four-year, $48 million deal in December 2007. Soriano and Fukudome have responded with batting averages of .232 and .260, respectively, this season.”

He really tees off on Hendry.

The Cubs have the worst outfield in MLB with Soriano, Fufudome and Bradley. Catch no evil, hit no evil and throw no evil would be more like it. Soriano is not a big game player period, he’s proved it. Fufudome is a true bust after signing with the Cubs, to much fan and media fanfare. A few weeks back Bradley caught a high fly ball thinking there were two outs against the Twins. There was only one out. After catching the ball he busted a move, looked toward the fans and tossed the ball into the bleachers…while a Twins runner scored from third base. He’s a real major leaguer, no?

The infield isn’t bad if they could hit. Counting on Ramierez as the comeback spark won’t do. Bet they wish they still had DeRosa, hottest player in the league who is now with division rival St.Louis. Heh.

Finally there’s this little gem.

A Cub fan from Buffalo Grove IL threatens a hunger strike IF the Cubs don’t start winning and his name isn’t Dick Gregory. Get this, he won’t begin his fast until AFTER the All-Star break. And this deserves a story with a photo in the Sun-Times? Who starts a diet today? It’s always next Monday next month. In true Cub fan style he should wait until next year.

Pardon me for gloating. The Sox are hardly having a stellar year but they seem to be putting it together lately and providing some professional MLB entertainment. I have to live with Cub fans who taunt me whenever I wear my Sox cap in public. Wrong team, they say. Why can’t your team fill the stands? is another.

I just smile and say, “It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring”. That shuts them up right quick.

Will Zambrano get traded? Will Fat Lou be back in the booth next year? Will the fan go on a hunger strike? Their record after the All-Star break will tell all. But count on one thing. The drunks will still fill the stands.

1 comment:

Dan from Madison said...

The amazing thing is that they are only 4.5 games behind my beloved Brewers, and everyone is turning on them already. Or maybe I should say that the Cubs are only 1.5 games out of the cellar?