TGMPCBC Part Four - Region One

Here are parts three, two and one.

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Well, I have been staring at these sixteen sh1tty beers in my garage fridge for long enough, and they are menacing my good beers so...it's on like Donkey Kong!

Last night I powered my way through the Region One tasting. Below we have the match ups, with Coors Light up against PBR (with the bottle advantage) and in our other match up, Milwaukee's Best Ice vs. Bud.
I had my wife do the pouring so the tasting was blind. Every beer instantly foamed up and then just as fast lost all semblance of head. I had to have a little something in between tastings to "cleanse" my palate. We don't have chips or other junk like that in the house, but the wife did have these snapea crisps. They weren't too bad, looking back. I am not sure which beers are pictured below, but it doesn't really matter. They ALL LOOKED THE SAME.

So on with the tasting. I made notes while I was tasting before the winners (and losers) were revealed.

• Coors Light vs. PBR:
• Beer 1 - looked flat, smelled OK...at first a very mild flavor, followed by an aftertaste that was indescribably bad.
• Beer 2 - looked flat, smelled like mold. Hardly any flavor, with a nasty, "flooded basement" type of aftertaste at the end. Probably one of the worst beers I have had.

Winner - Beer 1, because of the sheer totality of the crappiness of Beer 2 - amazingly, the winner is PBR! PBR advances to play the winner of Milwaukee's Best Ice vs. Bud. Coors Light is easily one of the very worst beers on the planet. I mean, it made PBR look GOOD, which says a LOT.

• Milwaukee's Best Ice vs. Bud:
• Beer 1 - Musty smell, flat - really flat, flatter than all of the rest. Why are these beers not carbonated, I wonder? Anyway, I could literally not taste too much of anything, and there was a bitter kick in the pants at the end to boot.
• Beer 2 - Strong Metallic smell, but had a bit of a darker color, had a little flavor, and almost tasted like a real beer.

Winner - Beer 2 easily. Milwaukee's Best Ice advances!

• For a berth in the final four, Milwaukee's Best Ice vs. PBR - by this time my taste buds were reeling from the cornwater and moldy smelling, bitter beer assault, but Milwaukee's Best Ice pulls out the victory.

Here I am, after suffering through Region One, proudly posing with the first entry into the final four:

But in the end, all of these beers, as you know, are true losers, and ended up where all loser beers deserve to be, unless you are making a brat hot tub.

I am halfway surprised that the dishes in the sink didn't melt. Region Two coming soon...