Sleeping With Deer

Here is another submsision by Frank Borger.

There are a lot of hunters around Delavan and some are better than others. They all are probably better than this guy. He’d be in trouble if he depended on his hunting skills to put food on the table.

But if you travel to northern Wisconsin, around Superior, you tend to get a different class of hunters. Drive down a rural road, then hit the gravel, and finally down some ruts to a double wide in the middle of the woods. These folks are a little different. But one guy from Superior has brought new meaning to what to do with deer.

SUPERIOR, Wis. — A 20-year-old Superior man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Brian James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn. “The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said. Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision.

Gee I wonder what category he will be filed under on the sexual offenders list.

“The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."

Hey, if the judge thinks this is disturbing, how about his lawyer? His public defender argued that the charge of "sexual gratification with an animal" should be dismissed because the deer was dead, so it was no longer by law "an animal."

"The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass," Anderson wrote.The Webster's dictionary defines "animal" as "any of a kingdom of living beings," Anderson said. If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, "you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results."Anderson argued: When does a turkey cease to be an animal? When it is dead? When it is wrapped in plastic packaging in the freezer? When it is served, fully cooked?

Hey, he probably should have stuck to having sex with frozen turkeys. Wait till the ACLU gets news of this case.