Monday, May 15, 2006

Living Under a Rock

It sure is dark here

Today on Fox "News" Weekend (quotations mine) I heard the announcer talking about the latest contestant to get thrown off the island on American Idol and he said something like the following:

Unless you have been living under a rock you know all about the latest contestant to get eliminated from American Idol, Chris Somethingorother. You have no idea how upset thousands of his fans were blah blah blah...

So American Idol is news now. And I live under a rock. Dang.

So there was really no "news" this last weekend, except the alligator eating that poor woman in Florida - now wild animals on the loose consuming unsuspecting humans to me is NEWS. Better yet, people who put themselves in the way of wild animals and then getting eaten is even bigger news to me. You know, folks that have stuff like tigers, lions, cougars and bears as PETS and then one day mysteriously turn into tiger treats. I am frighteningly fascinated by those types of stories. I always scan the major media websites and I just go down the list of stories I may read like this:

no, no, no, no, boring, don't know who that is, don't care, no, no, tiger eats owner who had as pet, no, no, SCREEECH ....HALT......MUST READ TIGER EATING OWNER STORY.

Under this rock that I live, where it is cold and damp, my mind not only wanders into the cesspool of humans getting eaten by wild animals (do joggers in Florida now pack heat?) but also delves into weird and interesting historical stories. Check this one out that I was trying to unjumble the other day.

Which is better?

You are a Soviet soldier in World War Two. You fight as hard as you can, but get captured. You then collaborate with the Nazis and help them. Later, you get recaptured (liberated?) by the Russians and immediately shot for collaborating with the Nazis and you are dead.

Or

You are a Soviet soldier in World War Two. You fight as hard as you can all the way across Russia and Europe and raise the Russian flag atop the German Bundestag building in Berlin. You return home victorious and lauded as a hero of the people. Then Stalin throws you and your whole family in the Gulag because the army is one of the only things that threatens his power and you rot in jail for the rest of your life on the brink of starvation and you never see your family again.

Blankets are hard to come by under this damn rock.

2 comments:

Frank Borger said...

Forget about crocs in Cheesehead land. According to Wisconsin Natural resources magazine, 2003/2004 was the worst year on record for deer-auto accidents, 13 killed, 800 injured, 22000 incidents.

And surprisingly, according to Niel Kedzie, my state senator, Wisconsin is only 10th, according to Insurance statititics.

I'm gonna join BBA, (Blow Bambi Away.)

Dan from Madison said...

I am a pro at car/deer affairs as I bagged one last year with the minivan - not fun. The more you can kill the more off the roads which is fine with me.